I've always been aware of an aspect of my consciousness that had answers. This aspect has always been something that I could consult for direction or ideas that I could translate into words or images. I've called it "The Wise Self".
It now occurs to me that my "Wise Self" may be the same aspect that Crowley called "The Holy Guardian Angel" or HGA.
Upon recent reflection on what I mean when I internally use the concept "I" (as opposed to the socially useful concept of "I" which refers to the body and mind), it seems to me that I have unwittingly identified with my entire inner world in general, including the desires, drives, analytic/logical faculty, nervous system/sense impressions, etc., calling the whole "I".
If I take that wholistic concept and subject it to the Fire of the intellect, it becomes immediately apparent that there are influences which are felt that cannot possibly be included in the true "I" because they are fleeting, effervecant, controllable, etc. If I can control an impulse for example, that impulse must not be "I" because then who would be the one controlling it?
An image came to me earlier which can best be described as a cloud among a night sky littered with stars. This cloud moves in one direction, then in another. It splits itself off into pieces, then coalesces again taking on a new shape. It never ceases, it continually changes - becoming dense and white, then airy and subtle.
Along it's travels and evolution it seems to come into contact with nearby stars and constellations. One minute engulfing Ursa Major, the next branching off to cover partly the constellation and reaching towards and finally touching some other stars with it's newly formed limbs.
Some of the stars are very bright, some are barely noticable, some in clusters, some without close neighbors.
Is this an analogy for my sense of self? Am "I" the immense cloud(s) with it's limbs and siblings constantly identifying with the stars it comes into contact with? only to shift and move and become another shape that takes in other influences, creating a new "I"?
In this metaphor the Wise Self or HGA must be the Moon, brighter than the other stars, huge in it's influence and grandeur. While the other stars/influences stand out against the night sky, The Wise Self illuminates the earth by reflecting the eternal light of The Sun.
This cloud of identity is controllable, I have it within my power to focus it. If I wish to expend my energy on the sexual influences say (possibly corresponding to a constellation?) I can do so by searching the internet for pictures that arouse that aspect of my libido - the cloud shifts to my will.
If I wish to expend that same energy on spiritual matters, I can do that as well. All the time I mistakenly identify with those impulses, they become "I".
In conclusion, it is obvious to me that I can with sustained effort and perserverance I can learn to shift or identify with The Moon or The Wise Self by concentrating my attention not in the impulsive or emotional or intellectual influences, but by not allowing those influences to distract me. By doing this I can gather the strength/density of The Cloud Called I and direct it/me to The Wise Self, the teacher and master, He Who Knows.
If I can learn to do this efficiently than I'd be willing to bet that I will see dramatic increases in my creative capacity/receptivity, my understanding of the particular plan or narrative that I am involved in, my overall sense of well-being and trust in Nature, and a decrease in the sometimes crippling anxiety about the future that I deal with.
I am convinced that these words are a translation of the impressions and ideas given to my intellect by my Wise Self.
No comments:
Post a Comment